Sydney (Taken with Cinemagram)
Fun pictorial for Philippine Star Supreme section (Taken with Cinemagram)
A broken heart (or heartbreak) is a common metaphor used to describe the intense emotional pain or suffering one feels after losing a loved one, whether through death, divorce, breakup, physical separation, betrayal, or romantic rejection
I have to admit. Valentine’s day has always played a big part in my life. It marks my anniversary in showbiz. This year marks my 30th year. I should celebrate. But all I can think about right now is my broken heart. And until my heart mends… I won’t be doing much celebrating. I pray that when I do find the courage to celebrate, you will be there with me.
I am heartbroken. The man I love is never coming back. I am sometimes (still) in denial. I had to go to Heritage yesterday and replay images in my mind of him being there, inside his tomb. As I stood there talking to him, I did some complaining because it felt like a Teleserye scene. I mean, yes, how many times have I done this scene in a Teleserye?! “Tumayo ka sa puntod at umiyak ka habang nag mo-monologue ka, Zsazshing! And… action!”
It felt like some karmic joke. I wasn’t in the mood to laugh. So I stood there- self-conscious, a bit mad at the whole situation… and in tears. My life feels like a movie. Damn it.
I was at a wedding the other night and was told by someone who made a movie with him, that she also lost someone dear and that she visits the person she lost 2-3x a week. She said that she felt “physically” closer to him. I wondered why I can’t seem to make the same connection.
And so, standing there yesterday, I came to a conclusion: “Lovey, let’s just chat at home, over coffee, as we always do in the mornings. I like it better that way.”
Some of you reading this might just be having Valentine blues like me. We can’t pretend it’s not coming. And we can’t be bitter ‘coz we have to be happy for those lovesick fools we call our friends and family. They’re in love! We get it. We get it.
People say, “Love is contagious”. The idea of love should put a smile on my face then? Right now, all I feel is a smirk coming. But on the upside, i know this feeling will go away. If you’re in love and reading this, I am happy for you. Sincerely. *Smirk.
I die for SHOES.
Been awhile since I last posted. So much has happend. So can we just jump to today?
I am alright, thanks for asking. And so, how are you? I’m glad to tell you that I am behaving at my utmost to stay healthy. Yeah. Not like I lived an unhealthy life for a long time. I mean… ok. I kinda just let go for a year. And look where that brought me. So, before I elaborate and get defensive a bit further, I have to agree with you that I have run out of excuses. It’s WELLNESS or bust. There. Having said that, I feel the Universe channelling all it’s positive energy towards me. You should give it a try. Feels darn good. Like cigarette after sex.
What? Made you smile… see?
Yes, there are days when you feel the world’s idea of a joke is by poking holes in your life. Some days get tough. We get it, don’t we, friend? ‘Coz I’m at an age where it’s important to show grace under pressure. Are you handling life’s challenges the way people expect you to? To some, failure is the expected result. (How negative. How rude. Don’t mind those naysayers.) But to rise above it all, lies the challenge. So, don’t ever give up, ok, friend? Because I care. Because so many people who love you care. Because someone up there in heaven cares.
I hope you care enough about these things… because YOU matter.
I was away for two weeks at Twitter and two weeks away from ASAP 2012.
Now, you all know I was feeling "sensitive" about bashers at Twitter. My responds at Twitter has been everywhere- even at Da Buzz. Let me get this straight. I am no Twitter police. Just voicing out an opinion which seems to be what everyone else is doing these days. I guess gone are the days when people kept their opinions to themselves. We are all guilty of tweeting about anything and everything. TMI. Maybe it was a cue for me to act a little more conservatively. When celebrities like myself respond to negative comments, it's news. When one hides under a pseudonym, it's considered "writings on a wall". Ah, democracy...how easily it can be used and abused.
I never said goodbye to Twitter for the simple reason I know I just needed some "cool off" time. I know that trolls and negativity and bashing will always be around. I am not new to this. I was just feeling vulnerable and felt the need to defend myself.
Although Twitter is not 100% positive, there is actually more good than bad in this place. News is faster. It's the best way to connect with people from all walks of life. Pictures from famous people are way cooler and more intimate. It's the fastest way to connect with newfound friends and fans. It's really a great place, if one just drowns out the negativity. Ignore. Mute. Block. Notify. Report as Spammer. That should be my mantra, right? : )
Now about ASAP 2012. I was absent two weeks ago because I had marathon taping with the cast, staff and crew of Budoy for it's farewell week. We partied by the end of the week. And I just felt it appropriate to rest Sunday. So that's what I did. The staff of ASAP knew that I was going to be absent even before my marathon taping started.
Then last Sunday, I was absent again because I have been sick. Sinusitis, Asthma, cough and GERD. That's my body's way of saying I needed more time to rest. I had a fever last Monday- which is quite rare for me. I felt better Tuesday and started working out at home. Wednesday 3am, the headaches came. Went to my pulmo doctor and he said I had sinusitis. By Thursday, my stomach was acting up. Went to my stomach doctor and he prescribed new medicine. By Friday, i started coughing. I was advised to rest the whole week.
So last week was spent mostly in isolation. How ironic to be finally home but actually not spending time with my family. But on the upside, I was able to go on marathon viewing of movies and tv show updates, I was able to read my magazines, play drawsome, work out a little, get some sun, chat on the phone, text, shop online and plan an awesome family vacation with my girls!
So, it's the start of a brand new week. And I am feeling cheerful and positive.
Thank you to everyone who tweeted very encouraging words. Thank you for all the love, prayers, concern and support you give my way. I am blessed. I am lucky. I am loved by you!!! : ) And yes, I miss you, too! Just as much as I miss my Budoy family and my ASAP family.
This afternoon, I will be having a pictorial with Zia for a magazine cover. It's actually my second cover with the same magazine with Zia! I just realized that now. The first time was when she was 7-8 years old. Time sure flies.
With all that's said and done, I am back. I miss you. See ya.
Congrats to Zia for bagging her first major award at MYX as Most Promising Artist of 2012!!! And this Sunday, she received her first Gold Record Award for her self titled debut album under Polyeast Records. This is your first of many, ZZ. I am so proud of you! Guys, if you don't have a copy yet, get one now. It's also available in itunes.
Aside from subscribing from Zinio where I conveniently get to bring my magazine subscriptions in my Ipad, I find myself buying other magazines not available in Zinio (U.S. Vogue, U.S. In Style). Hard copies are definitely pricey but until they have it in Zinio, I will continue to get them. I especially love the last covers- musicians Taylor Swift and the beautiful, shrinking Adele.
I think the local mags are a lot cheaper to get here than in Zinio. Since they charge in Singapore dollars. Am I right? I’m always at the grocery anyway and can easily pick those up as well.
I love reading magazines because it’s inspiring. People. Fashion. Beauty. Interesting articles. I’m a fan.